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Part 4: One of Those Things
Tasuki paced restlessly around the confines of the old house, working off the excess energy being cooped up always made him have. Chichiri sat in the corner by the fire in meditation. Or at least supposed meditation. The bandit had a feeling that the monk was doing it simply to avoid him. Considering that his friend had been doing just that for the past three months, it shouldn't have surprised or hurt him.
But it did. Much more than it should.
He didn't understand. No, that wasn't really true. He did understand what had started the whole thing, could in fact trace it back to one event. The Conversation. The one where he had brought up the fact that Chichiri's friend Hikou might have been in love with him.
Tasuki made another trip around the room before leaning up against a wall near the fire. And consequently, near Chichiri. If the monk noticed, he gave no sign that Tasuki could see. The bandit snorted in disgust, but refused to move away from the warmth of the fire. Instead he simply returned to his thoughts.
If he had been smart, he would have just kept his mouth shut. It was just that once he had put all the facts together, the realization would not leave him alone, and he could not help thinking about it. Then Chichiri had had to push until somehow, Tasuki found himself confiding exactly what he was thinking.
That absolute look of shock/horror/pain that had come across Chichiri's face when he finally realized what Tasuki was talking about... that alone was enough for him to realize he had been better off with his mouth shut. He looked down at the monk, the eternal smile of the mask plastered across his face as he sat in a bubble of perfect concentration and silence. Tasuki had never meant to hurt his friend like that.
And boy had he ever stepped in it when he had joked about liking Chichiri in that way as well. The only excuse he had was that he was both physically and mentally drained from the day. Or just not thinking. Maybe a little bit of both. Whatever it was, it had driven a wall between the two friends, despite both their attempts to stop it.
Tasuki shifted his gaze from the blue haired seishi to the dancing flames of the fire. If he was going to be honest with himself, he would admit that he had thought about Chichiri in that way. But only once, and it was only a passing, idle thought born of curiosity. He had never thought to act on it though, knowing that the monk would never return the feelings and valuing their friendship too much to push it.
Now that was extremely ironic, considering that their friendship was falling apart before his eyes. Tasuki smiled mockingly at himself, and crossed his arms. He had repressed his thoughts about the monk in much the same way he had repressed his feelings for Miaka after breaking free of Hikou's spell. It would hurt his friends for him to have those kind of thoughts and feelings. So he made sure he didn't have them.
Then there was the incident three days ago. When the snowball fight had first started, Tasuki had thought that maybe his friendship with Chichiri could be saved. As they rolled in the snow Chichiri had pinned him, and stared at him for the longest time with the strangest look on his face. Tasuki had thought about that for a long time, but still didn't know what had caused the monk to freak so bad. He had his suspicions, but they couldn't be right. Which meant he was going to have to find out another way. By confronting Chichiri.
"Chichiri we need to talk," Tasuki stated as he glanced down at the monk. There was no reaction on the smiling mask, though the bandit was sure the Chichiri had heard him. "I don't know what's wrong, but whatever the problem is, it's not going to go away if we ignore it." Silence. "I can't fix what's wrong if you won't talk about it." Not even a twitch. "Chichiri, stop fucking ignoring me!" Nothing.
Tasuki felt like putting his fist through a wall. For some odd reason, he wished his relationship with Chichiri was more like his relationship with Tamahome. Whenever something came between them, he and Tama just fought until the tension was gone. He couldn't fight with Chichiri that way. He would be too worried he'd hurt the monk, despite the fact that part of him was sure Chichiri could hold his own in a fight.
A sudden impulse struck Tasuki. With determination, he stood in front of Chichiri and grabbed the monk's mask. It came off, but he might as well not have bothered for the face underneath was as expressionless as the mask. As he stared, Chichiri raised his gaze to meet Tasuki's golden eyes with a neutral look. That's when the bandit got mad.
What followed was a half an hour of Tasuki ranting, raving, and screaming. He called Chichiri every name he could think of, and insulted him in every way possible. The monk didn't let it phase him, simply got to his feet and watched with a kind of detached humor. After all, it wasn't everyday that you got to see a grown man throw a temper tantrum.
"Are you done, no da?" Chichiri asked as Tasuki stood panting in front of him, having run out of things to say. Slowly, the fiery seishi nodded his head. Chichiri looked at Tasuki trying to find the courage to talk about what he'd been going through and why he'd been avoiding his friend.
But he couldn't. Better to lose his only friend forever than to see the look of hate and disgust on Tasuki's face when he told the bandit that he had wanted to kiss him. After all, he was disgusted with himself for having such thoughts. Why should Tasuki react any differently? So instead he once again ignored the subject. "Tasuki-kun, please give me back my mask, no da."
"No," Tasuki said, not quite beleiving that Chichiri was once again avoiding the subject. "Not until we @#$%&-ing talk."
"There is nothing to talk about, no da," the monk stated. Then when Tasuki still refused to return the mask, "Fine then, no da. I'm going to sit here in silence until I get the mask back. Have fun, na no da."
Having stated that he was going to, Chichiri returned to his meditative pose and began ignoring Tasuki. Never mind that he had been doing the same thing to a lesser degree for about three months, and to a greater degree for the past three days. For some reason when someone states that they are going to ignore you, and does, it is more annoying than if they just ignored you and never stated it.
Tasuki was determined to win this battle of wills. And to give him credit, his will power lasted about as long as his patience. Which is to say, all of one minute. Then he began to pace around the room. At the end of that minute, he began alternating sequences of polishing the tessen and walking around the room. By the end of five minutes, Tasuki was climbing the walls. Literally.
Finally, with a snarl of rage, Tasuki stalked over to where Chichiri was sitting cross legged. He held Chichiri's mask in his hand, and offered it to the monk. "Fine. Have it your way. Here's your @#$%!^& mask," he snapped. Chichiri looked up at the mask, then slowly got to his feet. With a slight nod he reached out to take the mask.
Only to have Tasuki grab him. Chichiri stared down in shock at the fingers that dug painfully into his wrist. Then before he could react, the bandit used his larger built and slightly taller frame to force Chichiri back against the wall. Seconds later, Tasuki's warm lips descended to his own.
There was nothing gentle about the kiss. It brutal and raw, and Tasuki meant it to hurt Chichiri as much as Chichiri was hurting him. At that moment Tasuki truly hated his fellow seishi for destroying their friendship, for assuming something without asking, and for not believing in him. But when he felt a convulsive sob run from the monk's slighter frame, it changed somehow. One second he was trying to hurt, the next he was trying to comfort.
The pressure behind his lips went from bruising to coaxing, almost nuzzling they were so light. Instead of grabbing Chichiri's wrist, Tasuki put an arm to either side of him, still holding the monk captive but not as forcefully. He also shifted his weight back so he was no longer crowding or intimidating Chichiri.
As it continued, Tasuki felt Chichiri tentatively relax against him, silently accepting the kiss. Well, not accepting, but no longer fighting. Tasuki relaxed a little though not quite knowing why. Something about the fact that Chichiri was not fighting this, was in fact tacitically accepting it, made it easier for Tasuki to accept the whole situtation. Hesitantly, Chichiri's hands drifted up to settle lightly at the bandit's waist.
At that moment, Tasuki broke the kiss by pulling back a few inches. The two seishi stared at each other, neither one quite willing to admit to what had just happened. Tasuki came to his senses first, and took a shaky step back. He saw Chichiri's mask lying forgotten on the floor where the monk had dropped it. Carefully, he picked it up and handed it back.
Chichiri took it with a hand that trembled. Tasuki met his troubled gaze with equal parts confusion, acceptance, and sadness. Then he lowered his golden eyes to stare at the floor. With an abrupt motion, the bandit turned to head outside, but not before he gave Chichiri these parting words.
"At least now you have a reason for no longer being my friend."
*****
Whew. This was written in two parts and it took me awhile to connect the two. Stuff is finally getting interesting between those two, ne? This will never degenerate into a full lemon (I'll leave that to someone else), but then again the original intent was not to write a lemon in the first place. It was to get Tasuki and Chichiri together in a plausible manner while keeping them in character. I hope I'm succeeding ^_^. Looks like there will be at least two more parts to it so keep on reading.
Susan