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Note: The title may throw you off a bit. It's not strictly a comedy piece. At least, it won't be when I'm done.
Suzaku no Miko and her seven brave seishi were very busy being lost...er...exploring the snowy mountains in the land of Hokkan. They had explored (read: wandered aimlessly) the area and were preparing to camp out for the night. They’d discovered a cave that had apparently been abandoned by some animal. Of course, they weren’t afraid at all that it might come back. Really.
"#$^% it’s cold!" Tasuki hissed while throwing wood on the fire. Mitsukake glanced up briefly at him and then ignored him. Chiriko continued studying his scroll. Hotohori was too busy admiring himself to reply, and Miaka was raiding their food supply. "#@$&!" Tasuki scrambled out of the way as Nuriko casually walked in carrying a tree, roots and all.
Tamahome followed him lugging a large branch and looking rather wimpy in comparison. Tasuki couldn’t quite dodge in time and ended up with a mouth full of leaves. "Why you %$&!" He snarled, "You’re mine oni-boy!" With a blood-curdling yell, he launched himself at Tamahome.
*crash*
*clang* "Ow!"
*bang* "Why you!!!"
*meow!!!* "That’s it! Lekka Shien!!!"
Flames burst out the cave’s entrance. A moment later a slightly charred Suzaku no miko and seven, sizzled Suzaku seishi emerged from the cave.
"Oww..no da!"
After lying in the snow for a moment, Nuriko picked himself up and grabbed Tasuki by the throat, "What do you think you're doing, you idiot?"
"gack.....#%$^" Tasuki gasped. When Nuriko finally let him go he snarled, "Why are you mad it me? It's all that $%^#'s fault!" He pointed at Tamahome.
"What!" Tamahome yelped, "don't try to blame it on me!" He balled his fists and jumped at Tasuki.
"Hey, stop it you two!" Hotohori pulled out his sword. Immediately both combatants froze. "I'll solve this problem," the emperor muttered. He went back into the cave and drew a line dividing it in half. "This half is Tamahome's," He said, pointing to the right side of the cave. "And this half is Tasuki's."
Tasuki was still fighting mad, "Hey! How come his side is bigger?!?"
"Don't start that again." Tasuki stopped his ranting to stare at Miaka.
"#@$%&," He muttered, stomping out of the cave. Miaka started to follow him, but Nuriko blocked her way.
"Give him some time to cool down," he urged, "he'll be back in a while."